Mindful Monday #10 20191027_094429.mp4

Think Aloud: Scattered Mind

Think Aloud: Scattered Mind: “I cannot meditate because my mind is too busy,” someone told me a few years ago.  It was before I was in the mindfulness world.   I s...

Scattered Mind

“I cannot meditate because my mind is too busy,” someone told me a few years ago.  It was before I was in the mindfulness world.  I simply didn’t know how to respond.  I wondered if that was true.  But with my lack of knowledge, I didn’t have a clear answer and this incident was buried deep into my thinking cabinet.

Mindfulness is to be aware of the present moment.   We are seldom aware of what’s going on because of our fast paced world.  We are able to predict what might happen fairly accurately so we maintain and feel a busyness all the time.  That became automated so that when this fast paced life slows down or stops, our anxiety arises.  At this point, it’s easy to blame on ourselves or other factors that slow down your pace.  Sadly, many of us are in this vicious cycle and are not being able to find the exit, just like a rat running in the wheel.  Only way you can get out from this is to pause.

How do you know when to pause?  It might be a challenge in the beginning, but it’s not impossible.  To practice to be aware of your physical, mental, and/or emotional shift, you can pause.  And your ability of awareness can improve by consistent daily practice.  One of the mis-conceptions of mindfulness is that it is just for quiet people.  Regardless, if you are outspoken or introvert, all of us have minds.  While it is easy to sustain focused for some people, some other people have trouble sustaining focus. 

 Regardless of your mental stage, mindfulness helps you to be aware of what is going on inside and/or outside of you.  You might feel rushed, different agenda coming and going, or just bored.  That is when you pause.  You are afraid of this pause during your day because you don’t feel you have enough time, however, your short pause can make you more productive.   Simple mindfulness practices as short as 1 minute, but daily, can make your awareness improve over time.  

Last week, my 5th graders sat in the circle for the weekly mindfulness lesson.  After one full minute, I asked, “How was your experience?”  Some shared their calmness and peacefulness.  One of the students, on the other hand, explained in the circle, “It’s like different things coming and going and I became anxious.”  I listened to all students, then, summarized, “Thank you for sharing.  I am so glad many you noticed your calmness.  Also, I am happy some of you noticed your anxiety, scattered mind, things coming and going.  Because noticing what is happening is mindfulness.  You are all right on the target.”  This girl exclaimed, “What? Is it okay to get anxious?”  I replied, “It is important to be aware of your busy mind and it’s kind to accept your anxiety.  Because all emotions are important.”  She showed a big grin on her face, satisfied.  

Noticing extremely small things is challenging, especially when you start.  But not noticing anything can be what you are noticing.  Mindful meditation is a tool to support and improve your awareness so you know when to pause.  When you notice your improvement, let’s celebrate.  It takes time, but you are no longer a rat in the wheel.

Mindful Monday #9 20191013_082124.mp4

Think Aloud: Difficult Relationships

Think Aloud: Difficult Relationships: When we feel connections with others or a sense of belonging, our brain produces happy chemicals like dopamine.   Several connecting mom...

Difficult Relationships

When we feel connections with others or a sense of belonging, our brain produces happy chemicals like dopamine.   Several connecting moments accumulate over time and lead to the relationship.  This process happens between two people, small groups, as large as a room full of people in some cases.  That is why building community activities, often games in the school settings, are both popular and important when the school year starts. Even though some students just rather watch the games, gradually they develop their trust among learning communities.  Sharing laughter often opens the door. 

On a personal level, you might spend time together, walking on a trail, sharing your favorite books, playing cards, etc.  By sharing common experiences, two people feel comfortable with each other.  That is a special feeling as Mariah Carey sings, “We belong together.” 

Unfortunately, some relationships diminish while other relationships survive.  Why does it happen?   How do we make the priority among all relationships that you have in your life?

When we face disagreements or unexpected events that cause problems, we feel uncomfortable.  No one wants to be in an uncomfortable stage.  To escape from conflict, we either pretend nothing has happened or blame the other party.  Obviously, pretending and blaming hurt relationships tremendously.  If these events pile up, do you want to keep that relationship?  Even one episode of your friend blaming you might easily terminate the trust that you have built.  Then, you wonder if that relationship is important to you or if the person or group important to you.  In this screening process, some relationships survive and some don’t.

It comes down to the relationships within yourself.  When you notice some physical and/or emotional discomfort, can you accept it?  Denying your uncomfortable emotions is never healthy.  You might distract yourself by doing something and it works temporarily, but the problematic emotion stays in you.  

Think about a toddler who is severely upset for his lost teddy bear.  Desperate parents would say, “Tommy, here is an ice cream, don’t cry.”  Tommy might stop crying while eating ice cream.  But his teddy bear is gone.  Every time he remembers his teddy bear, do his parents distract him from thinking about his beloved teddy bear?  Instead, hold little Tommy on the lap, a parent help guild Tommy’s emotions, say, “Tommy, it’s so sad, isn’t it?  When we lose something, we are sad.  I know you are angry because we can find your Teddy.  Do you want me to call grandma if Teddy is in her house?”  

Think about Tommy’s story in you as your self-talk.  The lost Teddy is the problem that you are facing in the relationships.  Do you have your advocate in you who tells you, “It is sad, isn’t it? when you had a disagreement with your friend.”  It is okay to feel sad.  Instead of  hiding  or faking your emotions, accept your emotion at a time.  Then, you can explore logical solutions.  If the relationships with the particular person or group is important, you can express your emotions and concerns authentically.  

Speak from your heart.  If your friend listens from his/her heart, that is the kind of relationship that you want to keep.  Authentic relationships overcome hardships because of the willingness of acceptance both in individual and with each other.

Mindful Monday #8 20191005_164414.mp4

Emotionally Intelligent Check

The students’ school day begins as soon as they step into the classroom.  It is essential for classroom teachers to learn how each individual comes in, emotionally.  

Some students might have had a nightmare that they didn’t have time to tell their parents about.  Lack of sleep, arguments with siblings, illness in the family, etc….  These factors are roots of young students’ anxiety. Many students can mask their true emotions, which is an amazing coping skill. But what can they do when masking skills are no longer an option to cope?

            Teachers care about students so much and are frustrated when they feel limitations in how much they can support children. But teachers need to shift their attitude from desperation to hope.  We can develop our compassion by acknowledging students’ emotions when they walk into the class. 

 The Emotionally Intelligent Checking in System gives me a good overall idea on how my students feel and which students might need extra connections.  This quadrant model is largely known as Mood Meter.  The x-axis represents the pleasantness of the emotion and the y-axis represents the energy level.  For example, depression doesn’t take much energy and is not very pleasant so it is located in the bottom left as the blue zone.  Excitement has high pleasantness and energy, so it is placed on the top right, as the yellow zone.   

 

Prior to starting the system, the class discussed each emotion and its placement.  And we revisit the ordering every couple of weeks so that everybody is on the same page consistently.  

Students practice being aware of how their emotions are at the moment.  This is the fundamental concept of mindfulness. It’s not only a teacher’s tool; some students notice others who come in not feeling energetic and pleasant.  Surprisingly and organically, compassionate glances and interactions happen among students.  

Throughout the day, students come up to this chart and move their names to different locations when they notice their emotions.  They don’t have to scream for help:  I can visit them as I notice their frustrations and other emotions.  And I visit to celebrate when they are excited from new learning.

Teachers can teach children that it’s okay and normal for us to feel different emotions.  When we accept each emotion at each moment, we can make a plan to shift gears.  We can respect and be compassionate with each other and each other’s emotions.  That is a learning community that students want to belong to.  We can totally do it!

The students’ school day begins as soon as they step into the classroom.  It is essential for classroom teachers to learn how each individual comes in, emotionally.  

Some students might have had a nightmare that they didn’t have time to tell their parents about.  Lack of sleep, arguments with siblings, illness in the family, etc….  These factors are roots of young students’ anxiety. Many students can mask their true emotions, which is an amazing coping skill. But what can they do when masking skills are no longer an option to cope?

            Teachers care about students so much and are frustrated when they feel limitations in how much they can support children. But teachers need to shift their attitude from desperation to hope.  We can develop our compassion by acknowledging students’ emotions when they walk into the class. 

 The Emotionally Intelligent Checking in System gives me a good overall idea on how my students feel and which students might need extra connections.  This quadrant model is largely known as Mood Meter.  The x-axis represents the pleasantness of the emotion and the y-axis represents the energy level.  For example, depression doesn’t take much energy and is not very pleasant so it is located in the bottom left as the blue zone.  Excitement has high pleasantness and energy, so it is placed on the top right, as the yellow zone.   

Prior to starting the system, the class discussed each emotion and its placement.  And we revisit the ordering every couple of weeks so that everybody is on the same page consistently.  

Students practice being aware of how their emotions are at the moment.  This is the fundamental concept of mindfulness. It’s not only a teacher’s tool; some students notice others who come in not feeling energetic and pleasant.  Surprisingly and organically, compassionate glances and interactions happen among students.  

Throughout the day, students come up to this chart and move their names to different locations when they notice their emotions.  They don’t have to scream for help:  I can visit them as I notice their frustrations and other emotions.  And I visit to celebrate when they are excited from new learning.

Teachers can teach children that it’s okay and normal for us to feel different emotions.  When we accept each emotion at each moment, we can make a plan to shift gears.  We can respect and be compassionate with each other and each other’s emotions.  That is a learning community that students want to belong to.  We can totally do it!