Joy in Emptiness

 

Everybody had been waiting for the brand new year and it finally arrived!  Do you see full or empty in a glass on January 1st, 2021?  Full of hope?  If you do, it is because all agony and frustration seemed to be behind us simply by passing the midnight.  Crossing over the timeline from 2020 to 2021 mentally made our glass empty.  When we look at an empty glass, what we see is full of upcoming hope about to fill in the glass, as if it’s already filled.  Even though you don’t see any physical content in the glass, you would be smiling by staring at the empty glass, uplifting anticipation; something good would happen.  Hope does this beautiful thing in our mind.  Emptiness is the true joy!  For that reason, let’s simply say, “Happy New Year!”

Tweaked Japanese Folktale Kintaro

 

Once upon a time, Ojii-san (old man) and Obaa-san (old lady) lived in a 30 year-old conservative apartment in Tokyo.  Just three years before Ojii-san’s retirement from the Japanese prestigious bank, his company went bankrupt.  It caused a significant financial burden on the company’s loyal employees.  Ojii-san had worked in the company for almost 40 years, but he couldn’t claim any retirement funds that he had saved.  On the day he learned of the company’s bankruptcy, Ojii-san dropped his shoulders in his gray suits, and got on the subway train from Akihabara station just as usual.  The subway train was not crowned as the morning rush, but he couldn’t find a seat to sit.  Young people squeezed into seats, put their hoods on their head, playing games on their phone, totally ignoring the frail Ojii-san.  Ojii-san had a right to have negative feelings about these young people.  But worrying about tomorrow was way heavier than complaining about ignorant passengers on the seat.   “What am I going to do?”  He contemplated by looking out at the night sky through the subway window.  

In the meantime, Obaa-san went to the dry cleaning store to pick up Ojii-san’s suits.  “In three years, he will retire and I won’t have to come here anymore.”  Obaa-san chatted with the store clerk about how excited she was about her dream of traveling around the famous hot springs all over Japan with her husband.  Obaa-san stopped by the meat vendor to buy four croquettes (fried mashed potato) for dinner.  Passing by the little park at the corner, she noticed something unusual.  It was a treasure box that didn’t seem to belong in the park.  A bright beam was shining through a crack.  Obaa-san gingerly approached the box.  The inside of the box was intensely glowing and she couldn’t stop her curiosity.  Obaa-san looked around to make sure no one was watching her, then picked up the treasure box and took it home.  

When Obaa-san came home, Ojii-san was already home and making hot water for their tea.  “Okaeri (Welcome home), Obaa-san.”  “Tadaima (I am home), Ojii-san.  You are early today.”  And she continued, “Look at what I found in the kids’ park.”  Before she finished her sentence, Ojii-san amazed its shiny beam coming through the crack.  “Obaasan, it might be dangerous.  We have to bring it to the police,” Ojii-san cried.  Obaa-san said, that’s okay but let’s do it after we open it,” Obaa-san insisted.  So they opened it.   In the box, there was a new born baby boy.  “Oh, my goodness, it’s a baby boy!”  “We finally got our baby!”  Ojii-san and Obaa-san were overjoyed and picked the baby up from the box.  As soon as Obaa-san cuddled the new baby, he curled up then stretched his arms out.  “Waaaa!”  Immediately after his stretch, the baby let go of Obaa-san’s arms and rolled on to the floor.  “Obaa-san, you have to be careful,” Ojii-san told Obaa-san with frustration.  “Ojii-san, the baby is growing!”  As if watching a Sci-Fi movie, the baby became larger and larger each time he stretched.  Within a minute, the baby became a teenage boy fully clothed.  “Hi, Ojii-san and Obaa-san.  My name is Kintaro.  Can I live with you?”  Both Ojii-san and Obaa-san completely dropped their jaw and could not respond to Kintaro.  “Live with us?” Ojii-san finally mumbled.  Ojii-san and Obaa-san looked at each other and waited for each other’s reaction.  Ojii-san’s smile faded.  “I don’t think we can.”  Obaa-san replied right away, “Why not?”  Ojii-san sadly shared news.  “My company went bankrupt.  I have no more job nor retirement money.”  Obaa-san couldn’t believe what she just heard from her husband.  “Oh, no, Ojii-san, that’s terrible.  What are we going to do?”

Kintaro interrupted their conversation. “Ojii-san, Obaa-san.  I am going to win the Strong Men’s contest in two weeks. The prize is 100,000,000 yen.”  Ojii-san and Obaa-san were in shock.  How could they even trust this weird teenager to win the contest?  Obaa-san said, “This is a miracle person from a magic box.  He could make a miracle.  I trust him! Let’s eat dinner.”  Obaa-san went to the kitchen to fix dinner.  She served rice in a bowl, tofu & wakame miso soup, 2 croquettes, and thinly cut cabbage on the plate for Kintaro.  Ojii-san and Obaa-san had one croquette and it was enough  for them.  Those three people sat at a low dining table on a tatami (traditional straw)  mat, enjoying each other’s company that night.

Now Ojii-san had no reason to go anywhere since he lost his job.  He decided to help train for Kintaro’s Strong’ Man’s Contest.  When Ojii-san was in high-school, he was in the track team, specialized in the discus, and won several medals.  It was a good old day.  The magic treasure box provided everything for Kintaro and Ojii-san’s training.  When they needed Kintaro’s training clothes, it had them.  Shoes, new underwear, socks, weight, dumbbells, jump ropes, everything Kintaro needed, magically appeared in the box.  As soon as they put things away in the box, they disappeared.  So Kintaro didn’t need any closet space.  Obaa-san made 3 big rice balls, two for Kintaro and one for Ojii-san.  Soon, Ojii-san became stronger, too.  Ojii-san knew how to massage the exhausted muscles and taught Kintaro.  So every day, Ojii-san and Kintaro worked out without any excuses.  Ojii-san also ran with Kintaro.  Obaa-san joined in for light jogs.  Every night, the three of them enjoyed dinner together.  Their dinner was of course, from the treasure box.

The Strong Men’s Contest day arrived.  Kintaro was ready to compete against fellow competitors.  Ojii-san, Obaa-san, and Kintaro were all in good condition.  They left home early and jogged two stations away from their home and got off two stations before the competition so that they could jog more.  Ojii-san and Obaa-san no longer worried about retirement.  They were confident for Kintaro to win this championship.  The first round was basic strength.  Judges measured each competitor's muscle mass, tested the steroid use, challenged the nutritious knowledge, and their heart strength through the EKG that allowed each contestant to compete all the way up to the finals.  Kintaro easily passed everything.  In the second round, it was intense.  There was an obstacle course where competitors showcased their strength in three different ways.  Kintaro climbed up a boulder and down, then pushed it back to the start line.  The 0ther competitors were as strong as Kintaro, but they totally lacked the agility that Kintaro possessed.  They were slow.  The next obstacle was the large red Toyota Tacoma truck.  Kintaro wisely wrapped a metal chain around the truck and set himself in front of it.  His teeth were shining and as strong as metal from daily fish, milk consumption, and Obaa-san’s rice balls.  He put the metal chain into his mouth, “Aaaaa!” Kintaro began pulling the humongous truck with his teeth!  The truck started moving as other competitors were wrapping around their trucks.  Kintaro picked up his momentum, and in one big pull, Toyota Tacoma reached the top of the hill!  On the hill, there were ten iron balls 100 kg each.  Contestants were expected to put them all in the truck and push it to the finish line.  Obaa-san shook her pom poms and yelled, “Let’s go, Kintaro!”  Ojii-san, too, joined Obaa-san, “That is my son! Go, Kintaro!”  Announcers were so excited to report each move of Kintaro.  The audience cheered, “Kintaro, Kintaro!” When Kintaro’s Toyota Tacoma touched the finishing tape, everybody cheered for this remarkable strong man, Kintaro, who they had never seen before.  But the competition was not over yet.  The final task was to remove 10 semi-truck’s tires from one side to the other side.  Competitors could choose if they carry one tire at a time or multiple tires at once.  Kintaro piled all ten tires up with his miraculous speed, and started pushing.  The audience roared again. The announcers, who were both strong men’s champions, couldn’t believe what they were seeing.  Ten tires were balanced, and moving inch by inch.  Kintaro’s face was all red and wrinkled.  Sweat covered his face, arms, back, and everywhere else, making his skin glow.  When he reached the final finish line, confetti was bursted and Kintaro was acclaimed as the $100,000,000 Strong Men’s Contest Winner!   A tall blond haired reporter directed her microphone to Kintaro, “Congratulations, Kintaro!  What are you going to do with your prize?”  Kintaro was still huffing and puffing but eventually, he said, “This is retirement money for my father and mother.”  As soon as this scene was aired on TV, Kintaro got 12k followers on his Instagram.  Nike contacted Kintaro to sponsor him for further training.  The Protein Bar company asked him to be in their commercial.  Media created more income sources for Ojii-san and Obaa-san.  They were so thankful for what Kintaro did for them, yet they were not ordinally Ojii-san and Obaa-san anymore.  They became strong and healthy seniors through Kintaro’s training.

After the Strong Men’s Contest, Ojii-san, Obaa-san, and Kintaro continued their exercise.  One day, Ojii-san said, “Why don’t we pay our experiences forward to the community?”  “That’s a great idea!”  Ojii-san and Obaa-san bought clear land and built a Community Gym and Financial Service with Kintaro.  Ojii-san consulted people who couldn’t afford a financial advisor for free in the new building.  Obaa-san made rice balls for homeless people with the help of volunteers.  Kintaro became the lead fitness advisor in the gym.  The new community building was all free and you would think that $100,000,000 disappeared very quickly.  You cannot underestimate Ojii-san’s 40 years of financial experience!  Ojii-san invested half of the prize money into several machine learning companies and it tripled its initial amount!  In the meantime, Obaa-san’s rice balls were spotlighted in Japanese cooking shows and celebrity chefs magazines.  She ended up to be an author of the Rice Ball Recipe book.  It became the New York Time’s best seller for 14 straight weeks!   

Ojii-san, Obaa-san, and Kintaro were still humbly living in the same apartment, though, until Kintaro finally married someone.  Whenever they opened the treasure box, they could find whatever they needed.  And they lived happily ever after.  Medetashi, medetashi.

Empathy during Holiday Seasons Part 2

 

 

(Empathy during Holiday Season Part 1 is Here.)

 

Why do we cry?  

 

According to Health Line, research suggests that when you cry, your body releases endorphins and oxytocin. These natural chemical messengers help relieve emotional distress along with physical pain. In other words, crying is a self-soothing behavior.

 

Knowing that crying is self-soothing, we cannot say, “Don’t cry,” to anyone anymore.  What can we say?  Here are some suggestions;

• It’s okay to cry, here is some tissue.
• It must be painful  for you.
• Is it okay for me to stay with you?
• Can I share my story?
• I will be happy to hear your story if you want.

 

And remember, your job is NOT fixing the person.  You are there to support.  If the person doesn’t want to respond to any of your gestures, bring a glass of water and a fuzzy stuffed animal or blanket, then, leave.  Your actions are telling the person that you are available whenever and however they need you.  So they will reach you when they are ready.  

 

If you are grieving this holiday season, please know you are not alone.  There are many people around you who want to help you.  Here are some mindful tips;

• Set your spot for your cry with a blanket or a stuffed animal, tissue, and hot cocoa, or tea, but not alcohol.  
• Jot down anything that comes in your mind in the notebook for 20 minutes.  Don’t judge, just write them all down.
• Draw or paint as your mind allows.  Let your creativity free.  
• Play your favorite song or just listen.  Relax your body.  Color with colored pencils.
• Start your gratitude journal.  What are you grateful for today?  
• Bundle up and walk outside.  When you see someone, say hello from you with a smile.
• Take a nap.
• Self-Compassion meditation for short 5 minutes with some self-talk like, “May I Be Peaceful,” “May I Be Calm,” and “May I be happy.”  Don’t feel guilty when you take care of yourself.
• You are not bothering when you are calling someone.  You are reaching out to the person because that person knows your circumstances.  
• Pause and breathe whenever you notice you feel overwhelmed.

 

*If you ever experience severe depression, please seek an appropriate medical profession.  

 

In addition to cry, many or these activities would produce endorphins and oxytocin.  Whether you are supporting or grieving during the holiday season, let’s be kind to each other and yourselves.  While someone’s pain wouldn’t go away, we all can learn how to cope with the pain.  It just takes time sometimes. 

 

May you be peaceful.

 

Empathy during Holiday Seasons

 

 

December is the month of merry and cheer.  Yet this is the most difficult month for those who lost loved ones.  I am not suggesting to voice down just for those people, but to be aware.  Your small thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated.  

 

If you are grieving, Christmas sucks.  But don’t let it wear you out.  It’s okay to feel stolen.  It’s okay to celebrate without guilt.  It’s okay to say no.  It’s okay to cry.  It’s okay to be alone.  It’s okay to feel happy.  It’s okay to think about the person who you love in your heart.  Please make sure to accept all of your emotions.  That is the way to get through this tough season.  

 

If you want to help a grieving person, you can simply be there for them.  If they want to talk, just listen without any judgement and/or suggestions in order for them to feel better.  I know you want them to feel better, and we all wish to have a magic wand to wipe their sorrow with one swing. But what they need is someone who understands.  After all, when they desire to heal, they will find a way.  They are the ones who need to take actions, not you.  It takes time and it’s okay.  While nobody can walk in their shoes, you can walk in your own shoes with them with patience and love.

 

If you see someone who doesn't’ look happy, it’s okay even during holiday seasons.  But don’t try to fix that person because you are sorry.  You both can still share peace, calm, and appreciation.  It’s okay to be helpful in a quiet way.  It’s okay to accept help that is offered by someone who cares about you.

 

Children's Mindfulness Book: My Breath Loves Me

Where My Breath Loves Me by Claire E. Hallinan

Just in Science 2 Feel the Shock

笑う門には福来たる

大学時代を含め、中学高校時代に毎日相当笑っていたことを覚えていませんか？　箸が転んでもおかしい年ごろともいわれましたが、思春期の憂鬱とは裏腹に笑っているときにはそのひと時を１００％笑いに、笑いのネタに集中できるパワーがありました。そのパワーを毎日のように分かち合った友人とは何年も人間関係が続いていることでしょう。連絡を取らなかった何十年間があるとしても再びつながった時点で笑い転げた過去にすんなり戻れますよね。ここで、よく使われる言い回し、笑う門には福来たる、を思い出しました。

小さいときには”福”とはお金のことで、笑う人はお金持ちになる、とおばあちゃんか親から教わりました。しかしながらこれは金銭に伴う富裕さだけを言うのではないことは明らかです。毎日あほのように笑っていた私はいまだに金銭的に裕福とは程遠い生活をおくっております。ここで発見したのは　福とは笑いによる精神的効果だということです。


笑うときには普通の呼吸よりも3倍もの酸素がとりこまれます。臨床カウンセラーの長野弘子さんによるとこの酸素量が体の免疫機能、脳の活性化、鎮痛効果を持つ神経伝達物質の分泌を促すそうです。なるほど、年齢に関係なく笑いはポジティブなメンタルステージに酔わせてくれますよね。気持ちがよくなる神経伝達物質が分泌されるときはたいていストレスホルモンが減少されていることも事実です。

一人笑いをすることも時々ありますが、一般的には笑いは誰かと共有しているものだということも大切なポイントです。笑いあうことで人間関係がスムーズになります。

結論を言えば、福とは包括感、満足感など、ポジティブへ導きやすい精神状態を促すだけでなく、健康面でもプラスだということ。生きているだけで儲けもの、お金がなくても元気でいられることってありがたいですよね。笑いのもっとある日常を作っていきたいですね。

6.26.2020 ストレスは解消できるのか？

こんにちは！
今日は誰もが毎日体験するストレスとマインドフルネスの在り方について考えてみたいと思います。

そもそもすべてのストレスは解消できるものなのでしょうか？いろいろなストレス解消法が巷に溢れていますがどんな方法を使っても一時的にすっきりするでしょうがストレスの根源を取り除かない限りストレスは私たちの中からすべて消え去っていくということは不可能です。なぜなら、ストレスの根源は取り除けるものもあれば毎日向き合わなければ生活に支障をきたすものもあるからです。なんだかドツボにはまった感じですが、ここで考えていただきたいのは、ストレスとの向き合い方です、

ストレスを認識するとき、たいていの場合、身体に何らかのサインが表れています。私たちが、”最近ストレスが溜まっているのよ。”　というとき、たぶん肩が凝っていたり、体全体がだるかったり、いら立っていたり、頭痛がしたりしますよね。そのサインはおそらくだいぶ前から始まって少しずつ症状が悪化し、”ストレスが溜まっている”と言わしめるところまで来たんですよね。

もし、最初のほんの小さいストレス症状に気づいたらどうでしょうか？たとえば、”ああ、又これか、’とか、”これすると疲れるんだよね、’　と心の中でつぶやくようなときです。そんな時は、いやいや行動に移さないで、一呼吸おきましょう。鼻から息を深く吸って、ちょっと長めにはく。それだけで、ストレスのとらえ方が変わっていきます。呼吸はメンタルトランキライザーといわれるほどです。高まった神経をやわらげることが数々のリサーチで明らかにされています。

普段気に留めないことに気づくようになるとストレスのレベルも落ち着いてきます。その気づきを促してくれるのはほかでもない自分自身。毎日のマインドフルネスのエクササイズはその気づきを鋭敏にするための優れものなのです！

ストレス100％解消を目標にするのではなく、ストレスと向き合う（気づく）機会を増やすことを目標にできれば、ストレス度は結構落ち着いてくるものです。そしてストレスと向き合う勇気を持った自分をほめてあげましょう。

Where My Breath Loves Me, is Kickstarting!

When Mr. Gentleheart rang the singing bowl and said, "I love my breath and my breath loves me...," April wonders. She just began to understand that mindfulness is pretty cool and helps her calm but she’s not sure where, when, and how it happens. I wanted to capture that this mystery of mindfulness is normal. Curiosity is the key for life long learners after all.

I started this project while I was teaching in a 5th grade classroom. Mindfulness stimulates our brains during every day learning. A little extra curiosity helps student's learning experiences bring them to a much deeper level. So, I incorporated my interaction with students and my learning experiences with my own teachers when I was young.

Fortunately, I was able to collaborate with such a talented illustrator, Charity Russel, and the project was going well. Then, in the middle of everything, COVID-19 hit. Schools were closed and we needed to stay healthy at home. It meant for my 5th graders, that they could not see their friends in person, no outdoor camping, no transitional activities for middle school, no graduation from elementary school, and more. I experienced a certain level of grief as well, as I empathized with my students in my own way.

Eventually, this vision came very clear in my mind, what if I can give my books away to my students as graduation gifts? They will always remember when someone thinks of them when they see this book. The book reminds them of memories that we shared. Where My Breath Loves Me can make connections between losses and hopes.

By publishing this book, I hope my book will reach as many children as possible so that they will discover that their strength is in themselves. And at a personal level, I would like to send this message directly to my students. That's why I set up a kickstarter.

I invite you to chip in to this kickstarter project. Your support will bring happiness and strength into many children's lives especially during this unique time in history. Thank you for your consideration.

Interview with Claire Hallinan, Author of "ChampionSlip"

Breathe: Leaving and Coming Year

2019 is quietly leaving us.  Some of us experience melancholy and longing for the year we will soon be letting go of, while many feel excitement and hope for the upcoming year.  Of course, most of us harbor somewhat mixed emotions about this.  It is an interesting time of the year where we reminisce about the past and envision the future with gratitude. Yet, during this time, I observed that I seldom notice the present moment.  

I find my own cave to sit in.  To ground myself, I close my eyes.  I guide my breaths by saying, “breathe 2020 in, and breathe 2019 out....”   Three breaths calm me down.  Then I continue to sit, using my anchor words. (“Breathe in, breathe out.”)  I am grateful to have a moment where I can witness the leaving year and welcome the new year.  Why didn’t I notice my appreciation in the past? Was it because time was quietly slipping away?  Or was I too busy to notice?  

In ancient Japan, people commemorated this time by striking a large temple bell in each village.  Although I have heard this story over and over, it didn’t spark my light bulb until today. As a community, sharing a moment of appreciation for the past and hope for the future has united people’s souls.  By acknowledging each temple bell, people collectively share the present moment.  I think it is beautiful.  

So this passing year from 2019 to 2020, instead of opening a bottle of champagne and watching fireworks, I close my eyes and absorb deep gratitude in my spot. 

I am very thankful for my knowledge, practice, and learning of mindfulness in 2019.  And I can continue to plant more seeds in 2020!

Restorative Justice Meeting in Action

Life is so imperfect and that makes our life beautiful.  Allowing mistakes is brave.  Being compassionate is courageous.  Wanting to mend the problems is hopeful.  These elements are all in our Restorative Justice Meeting.  Although a restorative justice meeting is new for me and my students, we are getting a better understanding and good juice out of it.  

One student came up to me in the middle of group work with a bit of a concerned face.  She showed a little piece of ripped notebook paper and told me, “This was on my friend's desk. I don’t know who did it, but it has a very mean comment.”  I asked her, “Why are you telling me this?  Is your friend  supposed to tell me?”  She continued, “She could, but I was upset. For the meanness.” I said, “Okay.  Do you want to bring it up to our Restorative Justice Meeting? Are you able to bring it up in the circle?”  She agreed.

T: From your point of view, what happened?

S1: I saw a note on my friend’s desk and it was so disturbing.”

T: What were you thinking at the time?

S1: Who can do this to the classmates?

T: What do you think needs to be done?

S1:  I don’t know, but I want to know who did it.

T: Do you feel complete for now?

S1: Yes.

I did the same routine with Student 2.  She found the note on the desk.  She seemed still upset, however, she answered in a calm way possible.  After that, a few students beckoned me for their responses.  I passed a talking ball to Student 3.  “I am disappointed to learn something like this happened in this classroom.  If we don’t know who did it, it might happen to me next.  I feel unsafe.”  Student 4 spoke with a talking ball, “That person should come forward and apologize.”  Few more students expressed their disappointments.  Then, I throw my comment, “I think whoever did this must feel terrible by listening to this conversation. I think this person will most unlikely do the same thing again.  Do we still have to know who did it?”  Half of the students nodded strongly and half of them were not sure.  Student 5 had a turn to speak, “I don’t think we should know but at least approach the person directly and personally and apologize.”  Everybody showed the “agree” signal right in front of them.

Right before I was about to wrap up, another student mentioned, “But what would we do if something like this happens again?”  I took a deep breath and said, “Let’s come back to mindfulness.  Did you notice you are worried about your future?  And also did you notice we just made a hopeful solution in class?  Right now, we are content with the solution.  Let’s celebrate one  at a time.  If our solution wouldn’t work, that’s when we can address.  Does it sound okay for you?”  She smiled.  

I broke a circle and let students to go to recess.  And a couple of students hesitantly walked over to me.  One burst out, “It was me.  I was playing around with another student and the paper was supposed to be on his desk, not hers.  I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings at all.”  He looked terrified and about to cry.  Another student was standing by him, seemed like his moral support.  As I didn’t expect anyone come forward, I was in shock for a few seconds.  I said, “You look very upset.  You must feel guilty by being caused her pain.  Am I right?”  “I was about to tell in the big circle.”  “Alright, I appreciate your honesty.  Don’t you think she deserves your story and apology?” I asked.  He said, “I will tell her now.”  Then I added, “If you didn’t write a joke note, this never happened,  Do you think it should not happen again?”  He declared, “I won’t do it again.  Now I  go find her.”  

Children make mistakes.  Each mistake is the perfect opportunity to learn how to solve it or make things better.  When students have a strong sense of belonging to their learning community, they will all learn, grow, and share compassion and forgiveness.  

Think Aloud: Sideways... What Would You Do?

Think Aloud: Sideways... What Would You Do?: Students are great, mindfulness lessons are great, and now what?  When things are going well, it’s hard to accept unexpected…   Sideways...

Sideways... What Would You Do?

Students are great, mindfulness lessons are great, and now what?  When things are going well, it’s hard to accept unexpected…  Sideways.  My heart begins to race.  I notice I don’t feel comfortable to let things happen that cause my anxiety.  I knew it would happen because nothing is perfect after all.  

It was a lesson about heartfulness.  Students shared their understanding of heartfulness from the previous lessons.  Today, I planned to extend the situations to the playground.  I invited my students to take a couple of breaths.  I started to tell one scenario.  

One student purposely rushed her breaths.  Someone giggled,  Sideway eye contact among these students.  On the other side of the circle, one student kept poking another student.  I noticed all at once and panicked.  I screamed in my head, “Knock it off!” 

Then I realized how pathetic my self-talk was.  Soon I noticed my heartbeat beating way stronger.  At this time, I told myself, “pause.”  I paused.  I put a book on the floor and put my hands over my heart to settle myself down.  At the same time, I was waiting (hoping) for students to calm down.  They did.  

I spoke from my heart, “I apologize that I can no longer continue this lesson because I am very disturbed by some of your choices.”  Then, I pulled out a Restorative Justice questioning poster.  I kept my hands on my heart and calmly said, “What I still need is your understanding, respect, and perhaps an apology.  If you know your behavior choice might have caused my pain, please stay in this circle before recess.”

Initially I expected two students would come forward.  They are good kids, after all.  Surprisingly, 7 students came forward, each explained how sorry it is that their side-conversation or lack of attention caused pain in their teacher’s heart.  I said, “Your apology is accepted,” sincerely to each child including those whom I didn’t notice at that time.  

The heartfulness lesson went sideways, but my heart was full.  I can revisit the rest of the lesson next week.  I handled the sideway by seamlessly transitioning to the authentic conversation.  Students are great and the lesson went well, after all.  I feel very grateful.

Think Aloud: Gift of Gratitude: Lessons from Bowling

Think Aloud: Gift of Gratitude: Lessons from Bowling: Friday evening is fun to get together at the bowling alley.  After letting   a heavy ball to roll and it knocks all pins, the excitement...

Gift of Gratitude: Lessons from Bowling

Friday evening is fun to get together at the bowling alley.  After letting  a heavy ball to roll and it knocks all pins, the excitement is unspeakable joy.  Sharing these feelings among friends and families is a bonus.

However, this heavy bowl is so hard to control.  It doesn’t knock all pins every single time.  Sometimes a bowl hit some and sometimes it doesn’t hit at all. And we all somewhat get disappointed, although we keep smiling to hide our disappointment.

I found these events in the bowling alley as the life analogy.  Having a good intention doesn’t mean we are always successful.

We focus on knocking all pins down, which is great.  When it doesn’t work, keep trying until your 10th throw in a game.  When you lose your focus, too bad.  But if you keep focusing at each throw, give yourself a credit on you are trying.  You might be thinking what didn’t work and what you want to do differently in the next throw.  It is a reflective process.  If you show and feel your progress, it is great!  But if not, you still have a great intention and you keep trying until the end of the game.

When you wonder why someone wouldn’t understand your intention, think about the bowling game.  And keep trying with a frequent reflection process.  Sometimes you knock all pins while you would miss many times.  But as long as you have genuine good intention, you will have fun.  And no matter how many pins fall, let’s celebrate after the game!

Mindful Monday #10 20191027_094429.mp4

Think Aloud: Scattered Mind

Think Aloud: Scattered Mind: “I cannot meditate because my mind is too busy,” someone told me a few years ago.  It was before I was in the mindfulness world.   I s...

Scattered Mind

“I cannot meditate because my mind is too busy,” someone told me a few years ago.  It was before I was in the mindfulness world.  I simply didn’t know how to respond.  I wondered if that was true.  But with my lack of knowledge, I didn’t have a clear answer and this incident was buried deep into my thinking cabinet.

Mindfulness is to be aware of the present moment.   We are seldom aware of what’s going on because of our fast paced world.  We are able to predict what might happen fairly accurately so we maintain and feel a busyness all the time.  That became automated so that when this fast paced life slows down or stops, our anxiety arises.  At this point, it’s easy to blame on ourselves or other factors that slow down your pace.  Sadly, many of us are in this vicious cycle and are not being able to find the exit, just like a rat running in the wheel.  Only way you can get out from this is to pause.

How do you know when to pause?  It might be a challenge in the beginning, but it’s not impossible.  To practice to be aware of your physical, mental, and/or emotional shift, you can pause.  And your ability of awareness can improve by consistent daily practice.  One of the mis-conceptions of mindfulness is that it is just for quiet people.  Regardless, if you are outspoken or introvert, all of us have minds.  While it is easy to sustain focused for some people, some other people have trouble sustaining focus. 

 Regardless of your mental stage, mindfulness helps you to be aware of what is going on inside and/or outside of you.  You might feel rushed, different agenda coming and going, or just bored.  That is when you pause.  You are afraid of this pause during your day because you don’t feel you have enough time, however, your short pause can make you more productive.   Simple mindfulness practices as short as 1 minute, but daily, can make your awareness improve over time.  

Last week, my 5th graders sat in the circle for the weekly mindfulness lesson.  After one full minute, I asked, “How was your experience?”  Some shared their calmness and peacefulness.  One of the students, on the other hand, explained in the circle, “It’s like different things coming and going and I became anxious.”  I listened to all students, then, summarized, “Thank you for sharing.  I am so glad many you noticed your calmness.  Also, I am happy some of you noticed your anxiety, scattered mind, things coming and going.  Because noticing what is happening is mindfulness.  You are all right on the target.”  This girl exclaimed, “What? Is it okay to get anxious?”  I replied, “It is important to be aware of your busy mind and it’s kind to accept your anxiety.  Because all emotions are important.”  She showed a big grin on her face, satisfied.  

Noticing extremely small things is challenging, especially when you start.  But not noticing anything can be what you are noticing.  Mindful meditation is a tool to support and improve your awareness so you know when to pause.  When you notice your improvement, let’s celebrate.  It takes time, but you are no longer a rat in the wheel.