Life is so imperfect and
that makes our life beautiful. Allowing mistakes is brave. Being compassionate is courageous.
Wanting to mend the problems is hopeful.
These elements are all in our Restorative Justice Meeting.
Although a restorative justice meeting is new for me and my students, we are
getting a better understanding and good juice out of it.
One student came up to me
in the middle of group work with a bit of a concerned face. She showed a
little piece of ripped notebook paper and told me, “This was on my friend's
desk. I don’t know who did it, but it has a very mean comment.” I asked
her, “Why are you telling me this? Is
your friend supposed to tell me?” She continued, “She could, but I was upset.
For the meanness.” I said, “Okay. Do you want to bring it up to our
Restorative Justice Meeting? Are you able to bring it up in the circle?” She agreed.
T: From your point of
view, what happened?
S1: I saw a note on my
friend’s desk and it was so disturbing.”
T: What were you thinking
at the time?
S1: Who can do this to
the classmates?
T: What do you think
needs to be done?
S1: I don’t know,
but I want to know who did it.
T: Do you feel complete
for now?
S1: Yes.
I did the same routine
with Student 2. She found the note on the desk. She seemed still upset, however, she answered
in a calm way possible. After that, a few students beckoned me for their
responses. I passed a talking ball to
Student 3. “I am disappointed to learn
something like this happened in this classroom. If we don’t know who did
it, it might happen to me next. I feel
unsafe.” Student 4 spoke with a talking
ball, “That person should come forward and apologize.” Few more students expressed their
disappointments. Then, I throw my comment, “I think whoever did this must
feel terrible by listening to this conversation. I think this person will most
unlikely do the same thing again. Do we
still have to know who did it?” Half of
the students nodded strongly and half of them were not sure. Student 5
had a turn to speak, “I don’t think we should know but at least approach the
person directly and personally and apologize.”
Everybody showed the “agree” signal right in front of them.
Right before I was about
to wrap up, another student mentioned, “But what would we do if something like
this happens again?” I took a deep breath and said, “Let’s come back to
mindfulness. Did you notice you are
worried about your future? And also did
you notice we just made a hopeful solution in class? Right now, we are
content with the solution. Let’s
celebrate one at a time. If our solution wouldn’t work, that’s when we
can address. Does it sound okay for
you?” She smiled.
I broke a circle and let
students to go to recess. And a couple of students hesitantly walked over
to me. One burst out, “It was me.
I was playing around with another student and the paper was supposed to
be on his desk, not hers. I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings at
all.” He looked terrified and about to
cry. Another student was standing by
him, seemed like his moral support. As I didn’t expect anyone come
forward, I was in shock for a few seconds.
I said, “You look very upset. You
must feel guilty by being caused her pain.
Am I right?” “I was about to tell in the big circle.” “Alright, I appreciate your honesty. Don’t you think she deserves your story and
apology?” I asked. He said, “I will tell
her now.” Then I added, “If you didn’t write a joke note, this never
happened, Do you think it should not
happen again?” He declared, “I won’t do
it again. Now I go find her.”
Children make
mistakes. Each mistake is the perfect opportunity to learn how to solve
it or make things better. When students have a strong sense of belonging
to their learning community, they will all learn, grow, and share compassion
and forgiveness.
