Valentine Dilemma

Like every past February, this February makes me blue just because I am still allergic to the Valentine's day.  I have to go slow.  Most people don't understand my dilemma and irritation so I decided to teach how hard it is for me to adjust and accommodate the cultural diversity.

A Lesson Plan for the Japanese Valentine's Day

Target students: All teachers and students who are not familiar with Japanese Valentine's Day

Objective: To develop compassion for a teacher in the U.S. who was raised in Japan

Strategy: Role play using an original skit about Japanese Valentine's Day

Here is a skit...

In the lunch recess on February 7th.  Three 8 grade female students are in the bathroom looking at the mirror.

Mina:  Hey, Are you guys giving a chocolate to someone special?

Claire: I don't think so.  I even don't plan to buy "obligation" chocolate*1 to my classmates.  What about you Emi?

Emi: I, I, I, ......

Claire: What? Did you decide to give a chocolate this year?

Emi: I mean, I don't know.  What should I do.  

Mina: You should!  I volunteer to deliver your chocolate to him for you.

Emi: Really?  But what if he ignores me on the White Day*2?

Claire: He should like you, too.  Don't worry.  I will make him to like you, if he doesn't.

*1 Giving a chocolate means "I am interested in you.  I would like to develop relationship with you more than friendship.  In other words, this is the once a year confession day for the girls, especially teens.  It is also custom in the Japanese society to give away chocolate from female to male in schools and companies.  To avoid unexpected expectation from the receiver, you have to name "obligation chocolate".  It means "I'm not particularly interested in you, but I give it to you anyway, because you are male in our company."

*2 March 14 is called White Day converse color to the chocolate black.  If the Valentine chocolate receiver is interested in that girl, he will be giving cookies back to her as an answer of "I like you, too."  If he is not interested in, simply ignore her or kindly give her rice crackers.  Nobody knows how and why cookies and rice crackers were chosen for particular purposes.  

In the class meeting on February 13

Mr. Tanaka: .....So, tomorrow, if I find meaningless chocolate, I will take them all.  Also, your parents will be called immediately.  I warn you, don't bring any chocolate to school.

(Mina and Claire sympathetically look at Emi.)

At the school gate after school on February 14

Claire:  Wait up!  I told you to stay right there.

Ichiro:  I know.  Don't yell.

Mina:  You know how Emi feels about you, don't you.

Ichiro: I don't know.

Claire: Now you know. (Take a chocolate box out from the back pack and push it to Ichiro) Take it!  Now!

Ichiro: I don't need it.  I don't like her.  You can eat it, if you want.

Mina:  Think about her feelings!  Don't hurt her feelings!  You will remorse forever if you don't take it.

Claire: And remember.  You must give her cookies on the White Day.  Get it?

Ichiro: O, o, o, ok.......

Discussion Questions:

1. What did you think about how Japanese teen girls express their feelings and peer pressure?

2. What are so different Japanese Valentine customs to the U.S'? 

3. Do you develop empathy for a person who grew up in Japan who has a pressure to throw a Valentine party every year that are completely meaningless to her?  Why?

Conclusion:

Love should not be forced.  Love is something to give away from the honest heart.  Love doesn't have to be exchanged only on certain day.  But celebration of love warms our hearts.  There are so many different forms of loves in our lives.  So I am so glad that I don't have to shove someone's chocolate to the one's chest who doesn't appreciate it.  (Sorry Ichiro!)  I am fortunate to express and receive loves with so many special people in the different relationships in my life.  Happy Valentine's Day!