Sunday, April 15, 2018

The Relationship is the Shape of Water


Relationships are everywhere.

When I was in 7th grade, my friend told me that she could live all by herself.  I argued, "Well, that is impossible.  You are technically living in a place by yourself, but you are renting a place from someone.  You buy food from someone.  You can live without talking to someone, but you live by always depend on someone else."  She didn't like my idea, but she didn't disagree with me.

If you think about our life, we depend on each other directly and indirectly.  We, too, impact someone's lives directly and indirectly.  If that is true, why don't we care about each other?  You link to someone.  That is a relationship.  According to the Harvard study in 2017, relationships boost for people's longevity.  It is easy to imagine that feeling of significant connections that make you peaceful, happy, and calm.  When you feel content, good chemical helps your immune system become stronger.  Even if you don't talk about longevity, why do you have to avoid happy feelings on purpose?  Building a relationship is not a difficult task, yet  it might be tricky in some ways.

I thought about three different relationship models as the scientific matters; solid, liquid, and gas.

1. Solid Relationship:  If it is hard, it's unbreakable.  No flexibility, like iron and a solid wood piece. It's not breakable, however, there is no room to tweak it.  If it's made of glass or tofu, once it slips from your hand, it would break into small pieces.  You can not fix it.  The Solid Relationship seems like a strong relationship, but it is a forever-no-change or too fragile.
2. Gas Relationship: Many gas forms are invisible.  Even if you are able to see the particles, they are constantly moving around.  Each particle almost never meets to others.  Perhaps they meet, they most likely won't see each other again. The Gas Relationship is a "don't-care" relationship. It means if you genuinely talk to someone about your passion, this person ignores you or pretends to listen.  How sad is that?
3. Liquid Relationship: Liquid's shape changes based on the shape of the container.  If one shape doesn't work, you can simply change the container to adjust. This relationship can be flexible and fixable, especially if it is important.  Liquid is always together and moves in the same direction.  That is the desirable relationship I would suggest.

To keep the Liquid Relationship, both parties share the common goal.  You are both moving in the same direction.  You have to listen to each other.  You have to agree to disagree.  That's when you have to change the container.  In any relationship, you are going to face some challenges.  To keep the best kind of relationship, you have to admit mistakes and try to find possible solutions together so that you can continue to journey for the common goal.

To keep the Liquid Relationship is possible, if this relationship is important to you.  With a little acceptance, courage, compassion, and willingness of collaboration.