Empathy during Holiday Seasons Part 2

 

 

(Empathy during Holiday Season Part 1 is Here.)

 

Why do we cry?  

 

According to Health Line, research suggests that when you cry, your body releases endorphins and oxytocin. These natural chemical messengers help relieve emotional distress along with physical pain. In other words, crying is a self-soothing behavior.

 

Knowing that crying is self-soothing, we cannot say, “Don’t cry,” to anyone anymore.  What can we say?  Here are some suggestions;

• It’s okay to cry, here is some tissue.
• It must be painful  for you.
• Is it okay for me to stay with you?
• Can I share my story?
• I will be happy to hear your story if you want.

 

And remember, your job is NOT fixing the person.  You are there to support.  If the person doesn’t want to respond to any of your gestures, bring a glass of water and a fuzzy stuffed animal or blanket, then, leave.  Your actions are telling the person that you are available whenever and however they need you.  So they will reach you when they are ready.  

 

If you are grieving this holiday season, please know you are not alone.  There are many people around you who want to help you.  Here are some mindful tips;

• Set your spot for your cry with a blanket or a stuffed animal, tissue, and hot cocoa, or tea, but not alcohol.  
• Jot down anything that comes in your mind in the notebook for 20 minutes.  Don’t judge, just write them all down.
• Draw or paint as your mind allows.  Let your creativity free.  
• Play your favorite song or just listen.  Relax your body.  Color with colored pencils.
• Start your gratitude journal.  What are you grateful for today?  
• Bundle up and walk outside.  When you see someone, say hello from you with a smile.
• Take a nap.
• Self-Compassion meditation for short 5 minutes with some self-talk like, “May I Be Peaceful,” “May I Be Calm,” and “May I be happy.”  Don’t feel guilty when you take care of yourself.
• You are not bothering when you are calling someone.  You are reaching out to the person because that person knows your circumstances.  
• Pause and breathe whenever you notice you feel overwhelmed.

 

*If you ever experience severe depression, please seek an appropriate medical profession.  

 

In addition to cry, many or these activities would produce endorphins and oxytocin.  Whether you are supporting or grieving during the holiday season, let’s be kind to each other and yourselves.  While someone’s pain wouldn’t go away, we all can learn how to cope with the pain.  It just takes time sometimes. 

 

May you be peaceful.