How to Motivate

With a cup of coffee in her hand, she started.  "When I was in third grade, I was so motivated by the "things" that teacher negotiated with me," continued my mother-in-law at the Saturday breakfast table across from me.  This conversation started just because my 6-year-old was sent out for the timeout because of her sassy attitude.  I told her to come back when she was ready as a regular routine.  "I was always asking my teacher, 'what are you going to give me for the next task?'  It doesn't make me grow up to be a bad person.  So the 'if you do this, I give this to you' technique is totally acceptable.  Can you just say, 'I will give you hot cocoa if you stop being grumpy?'" she concluded.  I argued, "I am not sure I want to promote bribery for my kids or students.  It is not ethically correct.  Incentives don't have to be 'things'."

A lot of teachers in the U.S.schools have pizza parties, gummy bears, free recess etc, for incentives.  These are not common in Japanese schools.  It is rare to throw parties just because students behaved in classroom. Japanese students don't get gummy bears because they did homework.  However, the school recognizes an extraordinary achievement in the special certificates written in traditional calligraphy at the school assembly.  You would be called your name because your painting was outstanding in the school painting contest week.  When you get up to the stage, the principal reads every single word, hands out this special certificate to you.  You show respect with a deeper bow than the principal when you receive a certificate with both hands.  Students have more opportunities, such as jump rope contest, choir contest, dodge ball tournament, etc throughout the year.  Students enjoy being appropriately and respectfully acknowledged their achievement by the top of the school while every student is watching you as audience.  A definite cultural difference between Asian countries and the U.S. is evidently considered in these examples.  Asian students are raised to be respectful for older people specifically in language.    Everything their teachers says is highly valuable so disobedience is not the option for students.  Most kids avoid being in troubles.  Why?  Because students prefer to look the same.    Most kids don't want to get any attention in the negative way.  Blending in the group is such a big issue.  A Japanese proverb says "Nail  is struck out." If you appear different to others, you would be punished, so don't even think about it; that is the message I learned in my school.  That concept made me vulnerable, yet a part of me was still desiring certain recognition, so as a young student, I got confused. 

Young students I have been working in the U.S. Schools tend to get attention in positive and negative.  Although positive acknowledgement make you feel accomplishment which is a natural human satisfaction, I didn't understand why someone needs to get attention by making wrong choice until I learned children's psychology.  In some cases, only attention they know is to get in trouble because sadly those kids haven't known love and comfort at home.  I was saddened when I learned that fact in the class in college.  Moreover, it was even more shocking and challenging, when I had to go through with these kids in my own classroom.  In addition to the cultural difference, look at the dynamics and range in socioeconomic gap between East and West.  The differences must be expected.

My third grade teacher, Mr. Lucky Sun used the unique incentive system using a hand made certificate.  When there was no computer and copy machine, teachers used to make curriculum by their own hands.  I have a tremendous admiration for those teachers and their endless hard work back then.  Mr. Lucky son's creation was 3x3 hand written and hand printed certificate.  He decorated its border with some ivy pattern, so it really looked like a "mini" certificate.  A"certificate" is the special recognition for students no matter how small it is."  To promote students discussion, he started handing out his handmade certificate for those who contributed the opinions more than 10 times a day.  Each desk had a calendar like checklist to keep track of own daily record.  Since Mr. Lucky was the most strict and loudest teacher, the certificate given from him was so special to any of us.  Additionally, he made more certificate size varied from 4x5, 5x6, 6x7, and 7x8.   His promotion system was not so easy, though.  You have to earn 3x3 certificate five times prior to moving up 4x5 certificate.  The pattern continues until the largest size.  It was very difficult to get a 7x8, but it was not impossible.  Mr. Lucky Sun's way was revolution in the norm of "don't appear differently". Mr. Lucky Sun is the only Japanese teacher who used "Earning Privilege" system with concrete materials during my schooling.  All other teachers expect students do good and obedient in any occasions, otherwise you will be punished.  If you visit principal's office only once, you would be a history of your town for the rest of your life.

After 20 minutes, my daughter finally decided to come back to the table, with still somewhat grumpy face.  Just right before my mother-in-law opened her mouth, I invited my daughter to my side and hugged tightly and whispered, "I love you."  She looked at me and said, "I love you, too."  I tickled her a little bit so she can get ready to sit down by her grandma with a little social smile on her face.    My mother-in-law won.  Our princess was not grumpy any more, sipping her cocoa.  But her hot cocoa was already cold.  She seemed joyous being each others company again at the table after all.  The hot cocoa's temperature reminded her the lesson she just learned.  The loving, caring, and trusting relationship can be the motivation for children.  The self problem solving empower them at the same time.   That says, motivation is not necessarily the bribery or punishment. It is about the relationship that has developed in the mutual respect.  Her grandpa was watching his granddaughter's beautiful smile behind his glasses over the newspaper and mumbled, "It worked, didn't it?"