Relationships that "I NOTICE" Practices Can Build

What have you noticed in the last two weeks?  Take one minute and think about your “I NOTICE” statements.  Here are some of my “I NOTICE” statements I’ve told my students, and their responses:

• I notice you look happy…. “I am going to my brother’s baseball game, so I am happy!”
• I notice you look tired….. “I woke up in the middle of the night.”
• I notice you are working on your morning task…. (smile!)
• I notice your cool leggings… “I coordinated the color green!”
• I notice your legs are out of your desk… “Oops.”
• I notice something on the floor…. (Picks up a couple of pencils)
• I notice you are struggling…. “I know.  Can I use the fraction kit?”

And then, I noticed someone who came in the classroom mad.

Me: I notice you are angry.

Kid: I AM very angry because Tom is annoying.  

Me: (Hmmmm, she just came in and had no interaction with Tom.)

Me: Hey, shall we step out?  I will be glad to listen to you.

Kid: Fine (fuming!) (Follows me)

Me: So, what’s up?

Kid: Tom is making noises and it is so annoying.

Me: I see.  You are frustrated because of the noise Tom makes, am I right?

Kid: Yes!

Me: OK, why don’t you let me take care of Tom?  I assume you know some calming down strategies for yourself, right?

Kid: Right.

Me: Great. Let me go take care of Tom while you take time to calm yourself down here.  When you are settled down, you are welcome to come back to the room.

Me: (Going into the room)

Kid: (Starts breathing)

After a couple of minutes, she came in and started her entry task.  The entire process took me about 5 minutes.  “I notice” statements give the impression of “I care about you.”  This simple 5 minute interaction saved many hours of instructional time.  Adults who take care of children almost always have good intentions.  Unfortunately, some of these people don’t have clear execution in their communication.  Good intentions are delivered and displayed to others through good listening, instead of just “telling” people how they care about them.  Building relationships with “I NOTICE” statements applies to adults, too.

You have been practicing “I NOTICE” statements with your learners and yourself for the last two weeks.  Keep working on them.  This week, add to your audience your colleagues and your family members.  For instance, try simple complements like, “I notice your new shoes,”  “I notice you have done the laundry,” or “I noticed you lowered your body when you were talking to your student,” etc. “I NOTICE” opportunities are limitless! Then, I want you to notice how your working communities, neighborhood, and your family would change, and what feelings you notice when you get responses from them.  I look forward to hearing about your experiences!